The First Five Years

In today's society, a good marriage is not easy to come by.

People just don't understand how much hard work being married is. Marriage is not just about sex. It is not just about communication. It is not just about children or money. It is so complicated. It involves emotions, life decisions, both of your families, your friends and your lifestyle. If you are getting married, be prepared to give up your old life. Be prepared to change.

I decided to do a little research, being a married woman myself, and see what the "experts" say about the first five years of marriage. Well, that just about sums it up. You have to learn to change, to accept another person's quirks, to deny yourself a few things along the line and to become a dependable,loving, unselfish person. One person cannot fill your every desire at the snap of your fingers. Marriage takes time. You have to learn how to navigate and how not to give up.

I think one of the biggest mistakes people make is assuming that just because you don't feel the same way about the person that you did when you met them means that you don't love them anymore or that they don't love you. I can tell you, if you've loved someone, you've definitely hated them at some point. People who are always around you will eventually get on your nerves for some reason or another. I'm not a marriage counselor or any kind of an expert at all, shoot, I've only just been married two years. I can tell you this much though, if you want to stay married, you had better be one determined couple.

The things married people have to go through just to get to know one another is just outright ridiculous sometimes. We have so much depth as human beings. We also, as humans, have many, many flaws. Some of us talk too much. Some of us don't talk enough. Some of us cannot listen to save our life. Others just choose to ignore everything and do things their own way. Factor in all of the men and women just waiting to break up your marriage, your parents, your in-laws, your children, money and just life itself, I think you need some major cajones to even make it to committed.

Before I was married, I was counseled to read the book, "The Five Love Languages," and I found it helped me a lot. The problem was, I wasn't quite sure what my husband's love language is. I think I know it now. For me, it's verbal. I have to have compliments. Call me conceded but I thrive on his compliments and other's as well. The only other thing that I know has kept me as deeply committed as I am is pure determination and general knowledge of the sweet side of my husband. When he is good, he is fantastic but when he is bad...oy.

Another factor of marriage is love. So many people think love is a feeling. I do not agree. If it was, then it would come and go just like the rain. Love is a combination of things: honesty, trust, respect and devotion, to name a few. And you can't just pick to love one person, you have to be a loving person to love. I think it then transcends to finding someone who you really click with. Love shouldn't be mistaken for that giddy feeling you get in the beginning of a relationship. It is much, much deeper than that and it requires nurturing.

Anyway, back to my point, the first five years can spell serious disaster for those people who do not respect them. It is my opinion that to stay married, you have to really spend a lot of time in those first five years learning as much as you can.

The Bad Credit Drug

Would you like to open a charge account and save 10%?

In every line in every store across every town in this country you hear that question.

As an American, I am guilty of falling for the credit card. It is a drug. You think, oh, man, they just gave me a credit line of $2,000!!! Do you know what I can buy with that? I know it's going to take me the next two years to pay it off with only a $20 per month fee but hey, I really want that plasma t.v.!!!

Luckily for me, I only have one credit card that's ever really done any damage. It only happened because the company handling my account pulled a dirty trick. They changed my payment date from the 21st of the month to the 20th and never even told me.

On the other hand, I have student loans and car loans that are all racking up hefty fees.

How on earth are we ever supposed to get out of debt with all of these creditors breathing down our necks making us crazy? It just makes us want to go out and spend more money to get away from it all, on credit, of course, because all of our real money is tied up in bills.

Well, I am finally owning up to my addiction and getting some help. I found a company called Christian Credit Counselors who, within ten minutes of my application being submitted, called me and got right to summing up my bills.

I plan on not making any purchases unless I have the cash. That was how I did it in the good old days, before I decided to "build my credit." (The sound of creditor's hysterical laughter in the background.)

You can check them out at http://www.CCCFree.com

E! Best Bikini Bodies of 2008

My Favorite Season Premieres

1. True Blood, Sunday night at 9 p.m. on HBO (This one was new three weeks ago.)
2. Life, Monday September 29, 10 p.m. on NBC
3. Two and a Half Men, tonight 8 p.m. on CBS
4. Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles tonight at 8 p.m. on Fox

These are my favorites in order from the one I cannot miss to the ones that I switch in between. I hope you will give them a try and enjoy them as much as I do!!!
Check them out on www.HBO.com , www.NBC.com , www.CBS.com , and www.Fox.com

Problems with Photos

For those of you interested in seeing some of my photos, I am currently having a problem uploading them to Blogger.com. I will fix this soon. Thank-you for your patience.

Sincerely,
Nika

Disturbia

To Boob or Not to Boob

Today's society requires that you look your best at all times or you will simply be humiliated. When did being a woman become so hard? I remember when the boys only cared that you had jugs, not that they were perfect.

Let's face it, it's a real drag on the self-esteem.

That is the reason for this whole discussion. Sorry, but it has to be discussed.
I am looking into getting a "Mommy Makeover" due to the fact that I have had three children and it is wreaking havoc on my body. Working out can only do so much. It doesn't get rid of stretch marks or darkened aeroles. All it does is put muscle behind where your boobs used to be.

Currently, I am down to the same weight as I was in high school, a whopping 115 lbs. I am actually trying to gain weight. My hubby has been great about helping me find good workouts that actually achieve results. Crunches, leg lifts, push-ups and yoga...your basics...they all work...but they only do so much. They cannot fix all of the damage that childbirthing does.

I'm not looking to undue everything...just this one little area. The one little area that seems to make the world go round.

The question that I have is, will it be worth it? Am I going to feel better about myself? Or am I going to think to myself how stupid and superficial am I that I have to do this to make myself feel good anyway? Am I just like the other bimbos walking around Silicone Valley?

Over the years I have thought these things about women who go and get breast procedures. I think they are only doing it to get attention, unless of course, it was done after a mastectomy. I even wrote a term paper about why I would never get one. At that time, it was dangerous due to the silicone implants on the market.

Here's a thought though, whether you were born flat as a board, you nursed or you had to have your breasts removed from cancer...all of the above have done nothing but utterly destroy your self-confidence and made your feel like less of a person and therefore, you deserve to feel beautiful again.

Here are a few sites to look at if you'd like to see the procedures: http://www.michellehardawaymd.com and http://www.anewyou.com