Saturday, May 30, 2009

Top Stalker Song List

Over the years a girl acquires one or two stalkers. I think I have had one particular stalker since about 2004. It was strange back when I started dating my now ex-husband I used to get these phone calls whenever he wasn't around. Someone would call and hang up. Very irritating.

I kept telling him, "It only happens when you aren't here!" Someone must know when you aren't around to call me.

It never dawned on me that it might actually be him. Until now. Yeah, and he is still checking up on me, reading my blog and keeping tabs any way he can. I wish I had not had so much faith in him. So here's to you stalker! I especially love number one.

Thank-you to for their input on this as well. They had a list of Top Ten Stalker Songs that I really couldn't beat, so I just modified it slightly.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Living In a Bubble

As the mother of a mixed child I find myself not fitting in to certain circles.

As a family we don't necessarily fit into the white community or the black community but not because we don't have things in common with either. It is what they don't have in common with us all of the time. The ability to see past one's color or ethnicity and the ability to surpass the fear of asking questions they may not know or are scared to ask. Tolerance of other people's beliefs is a very hard concept to achieve for some people. I strive for it. Although for me it is hard to tolerate a belief that may be damaging to another human being.

So I find myself living in a bubble, trying to steer clear of certain groups of people who I know are haters and just outside the reach of everyone else who tries to understand but cannot. I don't mind though because when I meet people who are like us we are just fine. However, it is few and far between. Not many have Nigerian babies. Though the African-American community is very accepting of us.

Not many white women live the way I live. Some of the things I do are considered "black" but to me it is just foreign to some people and they are afraid of breaking their norms. I say, if it works for me, I do it. I like my hair braided, so I do it. I like listening to rap, so I do it. I like listening to rock and some country (very little), so I do it. There's nothing stopping anyone from doing things from other cultures than our own that are not damaging. I don't understand what the big deal is. It doesn't mean I am not proud to be who I am or that I am ashamed of where I am from. It just means I am open to the world. There is a vast world of ideas and things to do and I do not want to limit myself because of a fear of rejection.

I live in a bubble of understanding. Some people are afraid to go outside of their comfortable zone but I try to do it everyday to expand my horizons. Fear is only a concept. If you believe in it, it will become you.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Importance of Your Surroundings

My life is great right now! I have to say that it is because of all of the really awesome people I have been surrounding myself with that I am so happy.

I am meeting people from all different walks of life. I know musicians, club owners, police officers, reporters, burger flippers, business men and women...well, the list goes on.

If you ever find yourself starting to take a downward spiral, take a look at the people you are surrounding yourself with. You really need to be in a positive atmosphere to thrive. You could be the poorest person on the block but if the people on that block are loving, you will be all right.

I look at my life a year ago and I know that is not what I want for myself. I just keep thinking that with how great things are now, I can't wait to see what life will bring me for the next year!!!

To everyone who has helped to make my and my children's life one hundred percent better, thank-you!!! I love you!!!


Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Restaurant Trends

"This is not a restaurant!" a seemingly angry customer yells at the poor front counter girl as he walks into Wendy's at the Flying J.

He had expected a regular sit down restaurant with pretty little waitresses floating around.

Well, it's expected that restaurants use new tactics to draw in customers and so locations, menus and restaurant themes are all changing at a rapid pace. You may have noticed the cafe-style look that McDonalds has taken on or KFC and Taco Bell hanging out in the same spot.

It's all about sales.

To thrive in an economy where you can get just about anything over the Internet and delivered to your doorstep, creating an atmosphere that people want to be in is a top priority for the food industry. That and experimenting with locations seems to be one of the latest trends in fast-food and other sit-down restaurants.

Choices are also at the top of the list. The ever-growing market for health foods has prompted several food chains to add salads, wraps and low-fat and sugar-free items to their menus. Keeping a competitive menu with competitive prices is key to maintaining your customers. If they don't like either, they are out the door, almost as quick as they came in.

You will notice different themes as you enter a restaurant, such as have it your way or hospitality. Customer service is the most important but then you have a certain way it is laid out for you. Those themes change more often as the popularity of it dwindles.

So the next time you notice something odd or innovative, realize it is the marketing department doing their best to catch your attention. You should appreciate that. In the information age, consumers have seen just about everything. If it catches your eye, it must be worth at least one spin.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Originality: Lil Wayne's Middle Name

When I listen to Lil Wayne I don't hear other people's music.

When I watch him I don't see anyone other than Lil Wayne.

I love this about him.

I haven't noticed any sampling but I could be wrong.

I recently read an article in Rolling Stone magazine that described him as being very eccentric. I will have to agree with that. I love his hair, his look and his rock hard abs. I like the new twist he puts on everything and the unique tunes such as in A Milli and Mrs. Officer.

Just so you get a taste of Lil Wayne first hand I have embedded his latest music video, "Prom Queen."

Hope it is music to your ears.

Prom Queen

Sunday, May 24, 2009

I write what I know

I write what I know. Right now what I know is the impossible world of men.

Let me clarify this.

The dating scene is a nightmare. I don't even like to think about what it's going to be like when I actually say, "Yes, we can go on a date," or, "Yes, I'd like to be your girlfriend," or whatever.

I meet all kinds of people where I work, where I travel, at the grocery store, through friends and family and we all have issues. The question is, are they issues that are worth my time?

Do I really want to deal with anyone who has substance abuse issues? No.

Do I really want to deal with anyone who is married and using me as their girlfriend/sex toy? No.

Do I really want to deal with anyone who is a pathological liar? No.

That is why I am taking the time to get to know people. You can bet your butt I am going to ask you questions and pry into your life and your mama's. I need to know you are not a creep, a scam artist, player or a regular old psychopath. Just do us both a favor and if you fall into any of those catorgies or are into games at all, walk away. I am going to break your heart if you think I will put up with any of it.

There is something to be said for older men though. Lately I have had many of them approaching me and at first I was a little hesitant. I have always attracted them but lately my curiosity has gotten the best of me. So I have been doing a little research. Here are a few things that women have said about older men:

1. They are more mature.
2. They are more stable, emotionally and financially. God knows an emotionally and financially stable man is at the top of list. I am so sick of vampires.
3. Older men are said to be more giving sexually. They are less concerned with themselves and more interested in exploring. (Raising eyebrows here.)
4. Confidence is much more abundant. An insecure man is the last thing a beautiful woman needs. We like confidence. Not arrogance, CONFIDENCE.
5. No drunk calls in the middle of the night. Substance abuse has either passed or is non-existent.

There have been a few concerns mentioned though. For instance, what if it became serious? Well, I have younger children and the fact that maybe an older man would not want to deal with babies is an issue. You always have to check to see if the man you like is interested in your children anyway. Also, there are concerns about an older man possibly still being married. Well, I worry about the younger ones there, too. It stinks being the other woman. It stinks knowing that you are the other woman especially if you were a wife and there was another woman. Eh, I don't want to be a part of that at all.

Another argument is that an age difference of fifteen or so years is too great, that we'd have nothing in common. I beg to differ. Personalities make the difference here I believe. I could have a young boring-ass man who all he likes to do is sit at home and watch t.v. and play video games. Let me tell you, that is not exciting at all. Or I could be with a man who likes to travel, tells me crazy stories and jokes, is always doing something- even if it's not with me and has a fascinating personality. Just talking to someone who is interesting makes all the difference.

Anyway, all in all it is situational, just like everything else.

As far as I am concerned, the fact that I haven't started dating is a good thing. I have learned to screen out some of the nut bars out there and even saved a few friendships. I just hope the one I am interested in doesn't turn out to be a nutty older fruit cake. :)

P.S. I realize that Hew Heffner may not be the best example of the kind of man I would like but he is an older man who dates younger women.

The Mississippi Squirrel Revival...HILARIOUS!!!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Going Ga Ga

Friday, May 22, 2009

Should I Date Interracially?

Coming out of a divorce with a man who was very abusive and from a different culture and race has raised a lot of questions and concerns with my family and friends.  

I am Irish, German, Dutch and Cherokee. My ex-husband is Nigerian. We have a daughter together.

His mother is Igbo and I believe his father is Yaruba. Please correct me if I am wrong in the spelling or anything I am about to type about these specific cultures.

I am under the impression that the Yaruba men are abusive toward their women.  

Now when we were dating this didn't seem to be an issue.  He had a few angry outbursts and showed a little bit too much of public affection.  I just thought he had a few quirks to work out. I was extremely disappointed.

Anyway, as I am resocializing myself into American culture, I am surrounded by many different kinds of people, including African-American men, who happen to be very much attracted to me.  It may have something to do with the fact that I am still behaving like the woman my ex-husband has programmed me to be.  In fact, many of the things they comment on are things that I have changed about myself just to suit him.  I had to restrain myself one day when a man commented about how thoroughly I cleaned the lobby and that he liked that a lot. Then I had to remind myself that he probably just thought I was a very hard worker and was totally innocent.

Living with an African family has definitely put me in tune to the roots of our society though.  Some negative and some very positive.  

I want to comment about the positive because I feel it is important to hear the whole truth.  I am extremely good at cleaning now, lol.  I have learned how to cook one hundred percent better, improving on my own recipes because I learned tricks that only a seasoned veteran would know. I listen with such diligence that it is sickening.  People around me will do just about anything I ask them to do because the emphasis that is put on the idea of respect in their culture is so ingrained in me now that I cannot not greet and give salutations without feeling like a complete jerk.

This might seem a little bit strange to anyone from the United States but to people from other countries it might seem like a relief that anyone from here could understand the importance of these things. By no means were any of my skills lacking before. However, when you are treated like a slave the importance of perfection is key. If you mess up it is worse than if you had never completed the task in the first place.

So now I am faced with the problem of whether or not to date anyone outside of my race and creed, etc.  It actually terrifies me.  I do not want to put my children through this again. I am not discriminating to hurt anyone but to avoid being hurt myself. Who can really blame me? Don't get me wrong, there are still some very handsome black men who also seem nice to me.  My ex fell into that category as well.  What holds me back is the fact that the African culture is so ingrained into our society now that most people don't even recognize it, unless they are an outsider looking in.  That is me.  

So what is a girl to do? Any suggestions?