Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Dating Tips...LOL

I'm so sorry but I have been listening to so many songs on the radio. It got me thinking.

For what it's worth, I'd like to share some knowledge that I've collected over the years, guys.

1. No matter what any of the young females say, we still like you to behave like a gentleman. Don't grab us, hoot and holler or act like a "playa." It's immature...and gross.

2. Don't hate on our family and don't expect us to like your family if they hate on us. Hate is a pretty nasty thing to do to a person.

3. Get it straight, most women don't care how much money you make. If a girl is a "gold-digger", why are you dating her in the first place? You are obviously the type that only goes for looks as you wouldn't date a girl who was after your money if you weren't. So, why then, you ask, do we still like you to pay for things? We want to know that you will do anything for us, duh. If I break the bank for you, don't buy me a cheap-a** journey necklace and call it real. We know real from fake. It's in our DNA. Yeah, I did, I said it.

4. Lying is just not cool. Every relationship is built on trust. Even the one I have with my little brother. If I lie to him, he's going to think I'm a punk. If you lie to me, I'm going to know you are a punk.

5. Be a giver. If you think a woman has to do all of the work, all of the time, you all ready lost her. Sometimes giving means receiving...information. You have to listen to the words that are coming out of her mouth. If she says she doesn't like you to touch her toes, leave them alone. If she likes backrubs, hello!!! Give her one. Most women will return the favor. You will know if you don't do those things because she will simply be turned off from you all of the time.

Now, young men and women, do me a favor and treat each other with common courtesy. It's really hard to be nice to someone who is mean to everyone all day long. I sure hope this has been helpful to SOMEONE. LOL. Good luck out there!!!

Here is one of the many songs I have heard that make me think that maybe people have lost touch with one another:

Turnin Me On by Keri Hilson featuring Lil Wayne

Please don't turn me off
Yeah Like this
Where you at shawty
You fly as hell, swagga right, brown skin poppin
You know just how to talk to me
Know just how I like it
You turnin' me on, you turnin' me on, you turnin' me on

Now wait a minute little buster
You got one more time to feel on my booty
Better recognize a lady
That ain't the way you do me
You turnin' me off, you turnin' me off, you turnin' me off
Better recognize a real woman (aaahhh)

You ever try to get that close to me
You better come correct how you 'proachin me
Dime divas give it to me (aaahhh) I gotta be feelin' your energy
I gotta be for sure that you're into me
Recognize a real woman

Goin up on it, you actin like you want it
And you stuntin like your daddy checkin for this little mama
You turnin me on, you turnin me on, you turnin me on

Wait a minute little buster
Now you don't even know me but you wanna take me shopping
You a lame, I can tell it ain't big shit poppin
You turnin me off, you turnin me off, you turnin me off
Better recognize a real woman

All you wanna do is
Holla at the cutest
Broad to get up in them draws
Got money
Don't try to buy me
Bottles, got my own dollars
I could buy up the bar if I want it (aaahhh)

You ever try to get that close to me
You better come correct how you 'proachin me
Dime divas give it to me (aaahhh)
I gotta be feelin your energy
I gotta be for sure that you're into me
Recognize a real woman

[Lil Wayne:] Eh eh eh I'm I'm fly as hell swagger right, brown skin poppin like dynamite
Raw like china white, mami I dig your persona right
You dat baby mama type
I know I got you kinda hype
My ices elbino white
And I hope that ur vagina tight I go underwater and I hope your parana bite hot carter,
Ima kiss the spot for you
Ima kiss it to you scream
Wait a minute motherf**ker turn you on like a handle
Like the television on a weather channel cause
I make it rain girl
Now call me wayne girl
You just been on earth but you never been to wayne's world
I play to win, and i bait em in
I just do my thing now you're in love with an alien
Polow on the beat and yeah, weezy f is on the plate again
Keri if you pitch it at me i'm a swing away at it
Someone better play the fence, someone better tell them bout me
Baby I'm the shit and that's the only thing you smell around me
Weezy f baby and don't forget the F around me
And if you do then get the F from round me, you're turnin me off yeah yeah
Polow I told you I got you Ms. Keri Baby (2x) (aaahhh)

You ever try to get that close to me
You better come correct how you 'proachin me
Dime divas give it to me (aaahhh)
I gotta be feelin your energy
I gotta be for sure that you're into me
Recognize a real woman
[Lil Wayne:]uhuu yeaah Ms. Keri baby young Weezy baby, it's young money baby..

P.S. Here is a link to the video

Droppin' the ball!!!

I am excited to be able to bring in the new year with my readers. :)

What is even more exciting is that Nika's Land is getting more readers every day.

It has been difficult for me to find a focus to write about on the blog because I love to write about everything. That is why I write about so many different things. Hopefully it only serves to keep you curious about what I might be writing about next.

If you do find yourself not enjoying the content, feel free to leave me suggestions about what you would be interested in learning about. I am always open to constructive criticism.

Thank-you everyone for your interest and support!!! MUA!!!

Your's Truly,

Tuesday, December 30, 2008


This is a really funny spoof on Lil Wayne's "Mrs. Officer." You should check it out.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Stalkers: Who are they? Why do they stalk?

There isn't one stereotypical stalker.

Stalkers come in all shapes and sizes, cultural backgrounds and economic classes.

One thing they do have in common: obsession.

Several characteristics and situations factor into someone becoming a stalker. Does that excuse the behavior? Absolutely not.

What has been determined is that most stalkers are male. They often have a history of criminal, psychiatric or substance abuse. Immigration is also a deciding factor in whether or not a person may become a stalker. A person who has immigrated may be experiencing culture shock, acculturation or a sense of loss. Relationship problems, defense mechanisms (i.e. blaming), loss of a loved one and sexual disfunction are also common triggers. Stalkers are also very likely to participate in domestic violence.

The definition of stalking as provided by is:

"a persistent pattern of conduct that is not wanted by the person to whom it is directed, and may include, but is not limited to, any of the following behaviors:
  • Telephoning

  • Surveillance

  • Following/Pursuit (e.g., by car, on foot)

  • Culturally inappropriate courtship behaviors (e.g., bluntly asking for sex)

  • Trespassing

  • Sending unwanted letters

  • Cyberstalking (e.g., unwanted and harassing e-mail, or instant messaging)

  • Sending unwanted gifts/items (e.g., romantic, bizarre, sinister, or perverted)

  • Attempts to “save” or “rescue” (e.g., from an "immoral life" or an unpleasant situation)

  • Spreading false rumors about the alleged victim of stalking

  • Threats to harm the alleged victim, others, or oneself

  • Property damage

    Stalking behavior can best be conceptualized as existing on a continuum, from low intensity to high intensity. In other words, at one end of the range the behaviors are mild, less intrusive and non-persistent behaviors perceived by others as inappropriate, problematic, and harassing. At the extreme end of the continuum are severe, persistent, or aggressive forms of pursuant behaviors.

If you are being stalked, contact your local authorities immediately. If you are a stalker, it is a crime. You can be charged with a misdemeanor and must pay a $1000 fine. It is considered a felony if you violate a PPO, a condition of bail or probation or if it's a second offense or there is a credible threat. For more information, visit , or .

Friday, December 26, 2008

This is an amazing recipe from Lydia's Italy. Her food makes my mouth water just reading the ingredients. I think I was supposed to be Italian. Visit to find more of her delicious recipes.

Chicken Cacciatora with Eggplant

Pollo alla Cacciatora con Melanzane
Serves 6

2 or 3 small firm eggplants (1 pound total)

2 teaspoons coarse sea salt or kosher salt, or to taste

3-1/2 pound chicken (preferably organic), trimmed and cut in pieces

1 cup vegetable oil

1 or 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

½ cup bacon, chopped into small bits (2 thick-cut strips)

6 garlic cloves, crushed and peeled

½ teaspoon peperoncino, or to taste

1 cup dry white wine

3 cups (or a 28-ounce can) canned Italian plum tomatoes, preferably San Marzano, crushed by hand

2 tablespoons chopped fresh Italian parsley

Recommended equipment:A heavy-bottomed skillet for frying the eggplant and chicken, 12-inch diameter
A heavy-bottomed saucepan or saute pan, with sides 3 or 4 inches high and 12 inches in diameter or wider, with a cover.

Trim the eggplants and slice them (skin on) into chunks 2-inches long and 1-inch thick. Toss them with 1 teaspoon of salt and drain in a colander for 30 minutes to an hour. Rinse and pat them dry with paper towels. Rinse the chicken pieces, pat them dry as well and season all over with ½ teaspoon salt, so they’re ready for frying after the eggplant.
Pour the vegetable oil in the skillet and set over medium-high heat. Sprinkle flour over the eggplant chunks, dusting them on all sides. Spread them in the hot oil in one layer, leave them in place until sizzling, then turn and toss until nicely browned on all sides, about 4 minutes. Lift out the eggplant chunks with a slotted spoon, leaving the oil in the pan, and spread them on paper towels to drain.
With the skillet again over medium-high heat, lay in all the chicken pieces in one layer in the hot oil. Let them sizzle in place for a minute or two, coloring the underside, then turn to brown another side. Fry the chicken, turning frequently, until each piece is golden all over, 6 minutes or longer. As the pieces are done, lift them and let the oil drain off and set on a platter.
Meanwhile, start the sauce in the deeper pan (or wait until you’ve finished frying the eggplant and chicken, if you prefer). Pour in the 2 tablespoons olive oil and set the pan over medium-high heat. Stir in the chopped bacon and cook until the fat starts to render, then scatter in the garlic cloves and peperoncino flakes. Cook, stirring and tossing, until the bacon and garlic are lightly colored.
Pour in the wine, stir well and raise the heat. Boil for a minute or so until the wine is reduced by half. Pour in the crushed tomatoes and stir well. Slosh a cup of water in the tomato container to rinse them clean and stir in along with another ½ teaspoon salt. Bring to a boil and adjust the heat to keep the sauce perking steadily.
One at a time, submerge all the browned chicken pieces in tomato sauce and pour in any juices collected in the platter. Return the sauce to a bubbling simmer and set the cover slightly ajar. Simmer the chicken for about 20 minutes, then drop the eggplant chunks on the top of the sauce. Don’t push or mush the eggplant down but shift the chicken aside so the eggplant chunks fall into the sauce and are completely covered.
Heat until simmering again and cook 10 minutes or so, until the chicken and eggplant are cooked through and tender. Leave the pot uncovered if you want the sauce to reduce and thicken. Near the end of cooking, taste the sauce and adjust the seasoning.
Remove the pan from the heat and let the dish rest for 20 minutes before serving. Or let it cool in the pan and reheat slowly, gently turning the pieces in the sauce. Just before serving, sprinkle chopped parsley over the chicken and sauce.

Spicy :P

Is it the woman's fault?

Violent Behavior is an Abuser's Choice

  • Reasons we know an abuser's behaviors are not about anger and rage:
    He does not batter other individuals - the boss who does not give him time off or the gas station attendant that spills gas down the side of his car. He waits until there are no witnesses and abuses the person he says he loves.

  • If you ask an abused woman, "can he stop when the phone rings or the police come to the door?" She will say "yes". Most often when the police show up, he is looking calm, cool and collected and she is the one who may look hysterical. If he were truly "out of control" he would not be able to stop himself when it is to his advantage to do so.

  • The abuser very often escalates from pushing and shoving to hitting in places where the bruises and marks will not show. If he were "out of control" or "in a rage" he would not be able to direct or limit where his kicks or punches land.

Source: Mid-Valley Women's Crisis Service

*****A personal note to all of my readers: From now on, I am going to be posting FACTS about domestic violence from time to time. I will site the source and the link.*****

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

New President Brings Good Changes

We all know that Bush is the oil man.

I am so happy he is out of office. I have to admit, I wasn't a 100% Obama Mama. I would have rather it had been Clinton but you will hear no complaints from me. Gas prices are down. Let's hope they stay down.

I live in a shopping mecca and still we struggle to find work. It's unfortunate but maybe with the decrease in gas prices there will be an increase in demand in other areas which will stimulate the economy.

For those of you who are strapped, hold on tight, we will make it through. I feel the pressure of lack of funds daily, as I have children who have needs. School activities, diapers, clothes...those are only a few things that I struggle with.

I think as the year goes on, despite what the economists say, we may see things get a little brighter. Jobs are scarce, true. It will be a long time before we have a surplus of money in the national budget. I still have hope. Obama has given me some hope.

God Bless!!!