Hate Crimes Against Gay/Lesbian/Bisexuals

                I was scrolling through my Facebook log today and saw this photo. Her name is 

Jenna B. , according to the caption that went along with it. 

I decided I would address the issue that came with the story. Jenna slapped a man who was teasing her about her sexuality. She is a lesbian. This man then beat her up. They both reside in Canada.

What gives anyone the right to harass or assault another human being because of her choice in her sex partner? It's not as if she was hurting anyone by this alone. 

               Growing up, I came across many different variations of this. There are gays and lesbians all over my family tree. I have had several gay/lesbian/bisexual friends in my life and I would say that no one has a choice in this.You can choose to be open about it and that's about it as far as your choices go. It's like trying to say you have a choice in whether or not like you like the smell of fish. You don't have a choice. Either you do or you don't. It's up to you whether you still eat it or not. 

          This type of hate in this day and age is just disappointing. We have so many ways of educating people and yet some just refuse to listen. I think there should be a place for people who hate so much to get some sort of rehabilitation or punishment...whichever tactic works for the level that they are at. I am going to research some of the laws regarding hate crimes surrounding sexual orientation. In the United States, this person would have been arrested for sure. 

Here is the original link: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=472090656137593&set=a.256023271077667.72406.255016627844998&type=1&theater

Writing a book

I recently began writing the book that people have been telling me I should write for the past ten years.

In March, after I left Abusive Jerk #2, I decided to start going to a group for women who have been facing abuse up at the domestic violence shelter, here in Saginaw, Mich. It is through a place called the Underground Railroad, named appropriately so, as many of us who have been in a domestic violence relationship knows that you are being treated just like a slave. You literally have to sneak out and escape, and sometimes run to another part of the country in order to flee their dictatorship.

The women asked me to tell my story. I tried to condense it as much as possible. When I was finished they all said, you should write a book. I said, "You know what? People have been telling me that for the past ten years. I will do that tonight as soon as I get home."

So that's what I did. I started writing the book about a month and a half ago and I am currently on chapter nine. At times it is really hard to write because I become emotional. Other times, I am dealing with so much anger I cannot focus enough to write the book. My life is a very complicated one, one which continues to grow complicated with time. As I discover who is making it this way, I am cutting them out.

In conclusion, the reason I am not doing much else in my life is that I am focusing as hard as I can on finishing this book and finalizing one of my last goals that I had set for myself as a young adult. Thanks for your interest in my blog and have a great day!!!

Why I Hate Being Single

Now I remember: the lonely nights, the weird men (and women) constantly hitting on me, no one to snuggle with and the fear that the next person I meet is going to be a psychopath, womanizer or worse yet, abusive and controlling forever after.

I hate being single. What I hate more is being a single parent.

You have to be so careful who you hang out with. Gone are the days of trying to get to know just anyone. Fear for your children takes first priority.

There is always the schmuck always hitting on you, always calling you sweetie or honey, trying to be a player because he thinks you are easy. There is always "Superman" who is so arrogant he thinks he is saving you from your "miserable life." There is the guy who plays nice to your face and then has five other women on the side. There is the guy who all he wants to do is play. Or maybe there is one who is all of the last three combined.

I just want to hurl. I hate being single.

Why can't there just be someone who likes to talk about life and drink cocoa? Why can't there just be someone who will go out on the town once in a while and introduce me to a few nice, unknown jewels?

I haven't even started dating (because the divorce isn't finalized and God knows I don't need anymore drama) and I am weary.

I hate being single.

However, it is definitely better than being someone's slave.

~Nika

P.S. Freedom is awesome but what about freedom with someone who loves you? Can you feel me???

Is it the woman's fault?

Violent Behavior is an Abuser's Choice

• Reasons we know an abuser's behaviors are not about anger and rage:
  He does not batter other individuals - the boss who does not give him time off or the gas station attendant that spills gas down the side of his car. He waits until there are no witnesses and abuses the person he says he loves.
• 
  If you ask an abused woman, "can he stop when the phone rings or the police come to the door?" She will say "yes". Most often when the police show up, he is looking calm, cool and collected and she is the one who may look hysterical. If he were truly "out of control" he would not be able to stop himself when it is to his advantage to do so.
• 
  The abuser very often escalates from pushing and shoving to hitting in places where the bruises and marks will not show. If he were "out of control" or "in a rage" he would not be able to direct or limit where his kicks or punches land.
  

Source: Mid-Valley Women's Crisis Service

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

*****A personal note to all of my readers: From now on, I am going to be posting FACTS about domestic violence from time to time. I will site the source and the link.*****