Sunday, May 24, 2009
I write what I know
I write what I know. Right now what I know is the impossible world of men.
Let me clarify this.
The dating scene is a nightmare. I don't even like to think about what it's going to be like when I actually say, "Yes, we can go on a date," or, "Yes, I'd like to be your girlfriend," or whatever.
I meet all kinds of people where I work, where I travel, at the grocery store, through friends and family and we all have issues. The question is, are they issues that are worth my time?
Do I really want to deal with anyone who has substance abuse issues? No.
Do I really want to deal with anyone who is married and using me as their girlfriend/sex toy? No.
Do I really want to deal with anyone who is a pathological liar? No.
That is why I am taking the time to get to know people. You can bet your butt I am going to ask you questions and pry into your life and your mama's. I need to know you are not a creep, a scam artist, player or a regular old psychopath. Just do us both a favor and if you fall into any of those catorgies or are into games at all, walk away. I am going to break your heart if you think I will put up with any of it.
There is something to be said for older men though. Lately I have had many of them approaching me and at first I was a little hesitant. I have always attracted them but lately my curiosity has gotten the best of me. So I have been doing a little research. Here are a few things that women have said about older men:
1. They are more mature.
2. They are more stable, emotionally and financially. God knows an emotionally and financially stable man is at the top of list. I am so sick of vampires.
3. Older men are said to be more giving sexually. They are less concerned with themselves and more interested in exploring. (Raising eyebrows here.)
4. Confidence is much more abundant. An insecure man is the last thing a beautiful woman needs. We like confidence. Not arrogance, CONFIDENCE.
5. No drunk calls in the middle of the night. Substance abuse has either passed or is non-existent.
There have been a few concerns mentioned though. For instance, what if it became serious? Well, I have younger children and the fact that maybe an older man would not want to deal with babies is an issue. You always have to check to see if the man you like is interested in your children anyway. Also, there are concerns about an older man possibly still being married. Well, I worry about the younger ones there, too. It stinks being the other woman. It stinks knowing that you are the other woman especially if you were a wife and there was another woman. Eh, I don't want to be a part of that at all.
Another argument is that an age difference of fifteen or so years is too great, that we'd have nothing in common. I beg to differ. Personalities make the difference here I believe. I could have a young boring-ass man who all he likes to do is sit at home and watch t.v. and play video games. Let me tell you, that is not exciting at all. Or I could be with a man who likes to travel, tells me crazy stories and jokes, is always doing something- even if it's not with me and has a fascinating personality. Just talking to someone who is interesting makes all the difference.
Anyway, all in all it is situational, just like everything else.
As far as I am concerned, the fact that I haven't started dating is a good thing. I have learned to screen out some of the nut bars out there and even saved a few friendships. I just hope the one I am interested in doesn't turn out to be a nutty older fruit cake. :)
P.S. I realize that Hew Heffner may not be the best example of the kind of man I would like but he is an older man who dates younger women.